Thursday, 15 October 2015

Thinking time


OH and I managed to get away in the campervan for a few days.  One night in Inverness followed by dolphin watching off Cromarty then 2 nights in Aviemore at our favourite campsite.   The weather was kind and we enjoyed a day at the safari park and a spot of walking up the Cairngorms.  Fab view isn't it? :-)

I didn't think about work the whole time we were away. It wasn't intentional I was just enjoying the company and the outdoor activities.  It was just what I needed.

This morning I was sitting quietly and trying to identify what exactly is the cause of my not enjoying my job any more and what exactly is making me stressed.  I feel the pressure of 'needing' to work to provide for my retirement.  I thought that meant I had to have a permanent post so put the added pressure on my myself to find a permanent post.  The competition for them is so high but I did get an interview for 1 out of 3 I applied for so my CV must be ok.  I will have another look at it and update it again with all the stuff I'm planning to do.

However, my phone is constantly getting text requests for supply work.  There's work out there, it's just a few days here then moving onto a few days somewhere else every week.  No planning, no pressure and I could pick and choose which schools I want to work in.  It's not as bad as it could be.

I re read the article on how to be a good teacher only working 40 hours a week in school and bringing very little work home.  I still don't see how it can be done but I'm going to try to reduce my time in the actual school building.  The negative atmosphere in the staffroom is probably best avoided so I could use most of my lunch time to go for a walk outside then do some marking/prep instead of listening/joining in with the moaning!

I thought about the things I enjoy doing that me happy like knitting, cooking, gardening and reading.  And I realised I haven't finished a single knitted item this year (I can hear Sarah gasp!)  I've finished reading 4 books.  FOUR books this year!!! I used to read 4 a week.  I still cook but it's functional cooking, I've really lost my creativity this year.  I need to get it back.  And as for my garden... :-(

An online friend commented that I was future proofing my old age but at the rate I was going I would be spending it in the funny farm!  She was absolutely right.  I've been spending too much time worrying about my financial future instead of enjoying the present. 

I am going to try to enjoy my job again. I am going to make time to read, knit, cook and plan my garden for next year. I am going to keep applying for jobs.  Something will turn up.  It might not be what I expect but I'm open to whatever the universe sends my way :-)

6 comments:

  1. Glad you had some quality time away, I find the freedom of motorhoming is very therapeutic too. I think your reflections about work are quite right, maybe the short-term work might be the way to go. I have also been worrying about the future far more than necessary recently - we want to take a season off in a year or two but seem to think we need to worry about that now! I did not realise how obsessed I had become with it until a colleague pointed out to me that I was trying to decide what work to do in 2018 and it is October 2015!! Glad I am not the only one who gets a bit carried away with things; the strange thing is that we both seem to manage very well no matter what life throws our way.

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  2. It always feels better once a decision has been made. I'm glad you had a nice relaxing break, the mountains really do ground you don't they. x

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  3. Tsk on the knitting! ;) lol

    Making a living is not the same as making a life. Good that you are keeping options open though. Big hug xx

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  4. I too have been giving a lot of thought to the future, only x years to work and need to do this, this and this, etc, etc. Maybe it's something some of us go through, much better to focus on the fun things as well.

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  5. I too have been giving a lot of thought to the future, only x years to work and need to do this, this and this, etc, etc. Maybe it's something some of us go through, much better to focus on the fun things as well.

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  6. Good to know others have been through this too. I had my future securely planned out but stupidly it was tied to someone else for 24 years without provision in my own name. A lesson I pass on frequently to my younger colleagues!

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