My ex husband got re married today. To the woman he left me for (who was actually a friend). It's her 4th marriage. Nuff said. My children (ok, they're all technically grown up) now have a stepmother ;-)
It really doesn't bother me any more. At the time I was devastated especially as it was all very public. But I truly haven't spent the day moping or thinking about it, my life is full enough! They really are 2 people who truly deserve each other. I don't wish them any harm but neither do I wish them well. And I'm comfortable with that :-)
I empathise with everything you've said, the same happened to me, although she wasn't a friend, and my ex got married a month ago to her, I found it a bit weird, but I am in a better place in every way in my life now, so it really doesn't impact, in fact it has allowed me to become the person I should be :) My kids aren't bothered as they rarely see them anyway.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree, I quite like the person I've become :-) And my boys are pretty smart, they see their dad as he really is on the rare occasions he bothers to see them
DeleteOh sweetie...True friends don't do that sort of thing to a friend but then hubby's aren't suppose to either. :( My heart breaks for you and not for the loss of baggage cause good riddance but for your heartbreak and the pain you had to endure.
ReplyDeleteAnd your statement of "I don't wish them any harm but neither do I wish the well" says he was an idiot for letting you go. You are the better person and you're right as they do deserve each other. Personally I'd be wishing a truck would roll over them a time
or two. ;) I pray that you have embraced the wonderful life ahead and with more happiness than you and your grown children can handle. That each day brings joy and a smile to your face that outshines the sun. btw...great picture. haha.
Oh I've imagined that truck many times but wishing it would make me a bad person and I was determined they wouldn't turn me into that sort of person.
DeleteApart from the work situation my life is good and hopefully that will be resolved at some point :-)
I think you're right - they probably do deserve each other. It looks like my ex is heading the same way. This would then be her third marriage. Having been together 3 months he has now bought her a house - in joint names but he has 100 per cent mortgage. Makes me laugh actually. Considering what a stupid, ugly, violent idiot he is she is welcome to him. But I do know that his pension is 16 times her pension, so I guess I can see what the attraction is. She is rather pretty (well judging by the number of pictures she posts on Facebook) and then all her friends write back and say how pretty she is. The ONLY picture of me on Facebook is in Cuba swimming with a dolphin - and the caption I put under it was "I'm the one in the life jacket." Still, like you say, we are all in a good place so I guess they really do deserve each other. Like you I am indifferent to them - am just waiting for his weepy phone calls in (maybe) a couple of years when it all goes t****ts up. But I think we all know where he can shove that phone call. Cheers and good luck to you. Anna
ReplyDeleteInteresting similarities!!! My ex has a very highly paid job although he only has half of his pension now, LOL ;-)
DeleteMy ex now has a child with one of our wedding guests.
ReplyDeleteOh dear Wendy, bet that makes things interesting.
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ReplyDeleteYou didn't delete it :-) Love how there's an ocean between you now!!
ReplyDeleteSame here I met a new friend, who then ran off with my husband when youngest daughter was 10 days old. She got to know me to get to him, it was the best thing he ever did, but it took a few years to realise it. Look forward, they are not worth the effort of remembering them.
ReplyDeleteYep, always looking forward :-)
ReplyDeleteAhh - big hugs to you all. I'm at a crossroads in my life, needing to decide what to do with my husband (due to his actions, not mine) and it's hard - 4 children and 30 years together (we met whilst at school) and my pain is immense
ReplyDeletex
I was married for 24 years. I won't lie, it was a real shock to the system especially as I didn't have any money/credit cards/bank accounts in my own name. It took at least a year to sort out all the money stuff and then another year to sell the family home. Once the finances were in place life got a lot easier although I had a horrendous legal bill at the end of it all! Good luck with whatever you decide to do xxx
DeleteI don't know if you can or want to forgive - it's for you to judge. But I can say this, even if there is no going back, when you are with an idiot/tw*t/ life will ONLY get better afterwards. True it may be very hard at the beginning but you will have a peace of mind afterwards that is worth so much more. I was married 26 years and don't miss him at all. There is a saying that goes "there is only enough blood in a man's body to run his brain or his penis - and the brain rarely wins". In my case that's true but I am happy - and you will be too so take heart. Anna
DeleteI have been there. We were together from when I was 14 and he 16. I put up with so much over the years because of that and the children. I finally said enough is enough when my youngest was 19. I was 42 by then. I was truly devastated but life goes on. 11 years later I'm married to a wonderful chap (I met him a year after I threw my ex out despite vowing never to look at a man again). It was meant to be and after almost 8 years together we married. I hope your new life has begun, I only wish I'd started mine sooner!
DeleteGood picture. :D Glad you are in a better place now. :D x
ReplyDeleteMuch better, thanks :-)
DeleteBide your time - what goes around, comes around - the pain that they caused you will come back to them in double quantities and that'll be the time to walk round with a slightly smug smile and thank your lucky stars that she did you such a big favour! - From another woman that's been in the same shoes xxx
ReplyDeleteYep, karma will get them when the time is right ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhen my ex re-married a couple of weeks after our divorce came through, he told me in no uncertain terms that he would be happy for the rest of his days and I would die a lonely old woman. He's now divorced from the girl twenty two years younger than him after she kicked him out of the house he had re-mortgaged to buy her new stuff, sold it at a loss and has since been fraudulently opening bank accounts in his name and running up thousands of pounds of benefits and loans money.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile I am living with my Lovely Hubby who truly is my soul-mate and being gracious enough not to say anything to my ex who has at least learnt the error of his ways.
Karma is a bitch .... Lol :-)
Its amazing what we get through Sue, fortunately we've ended up in a far better place, I wouldn't have thought it at the time 6 years ago, but I'm happier than I've ever been and with a wonderful soul mate and my life has gone down a totally different road which is so much better :) and fun
DeleteLove it Sue!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd love that a lot of us like minded folks have 'found' each other through blogland!
I second that Ali, we've all met some very like minded people in this wonderful blogging world. :-)
DeleteI have to say I was laughing my ass off when the 'child' my ex left me for dumped him two weeks after we broke up and nicked his money! Karma...much!
ReplyDelete4th marriage too....hmmm methinks it doesn't sound so permanent.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, 30 years married and he thinks someone half his age is a good idea.....it lasted 3 months.
ReplyDeleteLife is peaceful, I love being independent, controlling my own money and enjoy a little traveling.
"Sometimes things don't happen to you, they happen for you "