Grateful

Last week was a tough week professionally.  A child (not even in my class) made an allegation against me that had to be investigated.  Even though I knew it was a totally false allegation it still worried me that I wouldn't be believed and I'd lose my job.  Luckily it was a reasonably quick investigation (2 days) and I was completely exonerated.  But it's left me very unsettled at work and if I'm honest, a bit resentful of the time and energy I've been putting into it. It feels like I'm not making a difference.

So I'm trying to focus on being grateful that I have a permanent post.  And I'm looking at the other areas of my life and being grateful that I am able to do other things.  I was looking at my garden at the weekend and thinking it looks terrible.  But on closer inspection I found my purple sprouting broccoli was, well sprouting 😎

My curly kale is hanging in there!

My leeks are fashionably baby size

And I found my rhubarb has started peeping through the weeds along the side of the polytunnel 

I made these egg muffins with the last 3 eggs from my chickens (they haven't produced any eggs in the last week or so), an end bit of sheep's cheese and some straggly spring onions.  They were really tasty!  Even though my chickens are freeloaders just now, I am grateful for their funny antics (and their eggs)

And finally, 6 years ago today I met my OH 💑 At the time we had both come out of long marriages and were single parents of our respective kids.  Neither of us knew at the time it would become a long term relationship.  It's not perfect especially as we're still running 2 houses and not living together yet but we do have very long terms for the future.  I'm grateful for what we have at the moment and I am looking forward to the next exciting chapter.

Still here

I'm still plodding away here, full of the latest round of winter bugs generously shared by my grotty kids!! On Friday I had one with projectile vomiting! I do hope I don't get that one! Now that the weather has turned colder my wee chickens are enjoying a daily morning serving of porridge.  They're so funny and end up with it all over their beaks and head!

Work is very demanding and time consuming.  I've had lots of meetings with colleagues for planning/tracking and had several parents' meetings.  And I have another one next week.  There's not much time left for anything else.  But on a lighter note, OH and I have worked out when we can retire. Only 5 and 1/2 years to go for us both 💑

My lovely new laptop has decided to store my uploaded photos somewhere I can't find them again!  I've been doing loads of meal prep which really saves me so much time every night I come home.  If I find the photos I'll post them!!

I found this photo on my wanderings.  Totally sums up my 3 boys!

Quick job update

I have finally had my job position explained to me not by HR but by the finance officer to my school's cluster.  In a nutshell, my headteacher and I were given the WRONG advice re the job share situation by the head of HR!! Turns out HR have not handled my permanency application correctly.  And the powers that be have agreed that I have done everything correctly by the book and they should rectify THEIR mistakes.

So, I have the right to a permanent full time job subject to an interview.  Yeay!!

But, as there is now a full time permanent vacancy within my school I can apply for it along with all the other temporary teachers in my area looking for a permanent post *sighs*

However, I WILL get an interview by my current headteacher (ie the one who has rejected me twice after an interview but insists I am a good teacher) and will be considered for BOTH posts within the same interview.  Kinda yeay!

Soooo, I will have a full time permanent post in 2 weeks either permanent supply (where I do absence cover in the 5 schools within my cluster for a year) or the job I already have on permanent contract.

I'm not going to lie and say I'd be happy with either post.  I want my own job.  I have the support of my colleagues and by coincidence I had a conversation with the parent of a pupil I had last year who reminded me that I have the ongoing support of the parents too.  That really made me happy and a wee bit tearful if I'm honest!

Interview is on the 22nd of June.  I've asked our depute head to coach me in interview skills (he's a whizz on educational jargon which is my weak spot) and I'll be spending as much time as I can reading up on sample questions.  I REALLY WANT THIS JOB! :-)

When you should listen

 

Thanks to everyone who left a comment on my last post :-)  I haven't talked much about the events that changed my life 5 years ago and for newer readers who don't know the reason behind my blog I hope it gave you an inkling of how I got here.

 

It was good to see other women who have come through a similar thing and are enjoying life on the other side.  To Mrs G, no one can tell you what to do.  Only you can make that decision.  I ignored that voice telling me something wasn't quite right for years and then let him make the decision for me when I was least prepared.  Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

Today the weather is awful.  I put the heating on early as the house is so cold.  Since we're stuck indoors I'm getting on with finishing the kitchen.  Yep, that saga is still on going!!  My middle son is still here and he's quite handy so hopefully by the end of today I'll have some photos of finished stuff to share :-)

Everything's back to normal

Our wee school had a revisit from HMI this week.  Anyone in education or who loves someone who is, knows just how stressful it can be.  We have worked our butts off for the last year putting right the previous 7 years of dreadful leadership and bad management (that's what last year's report found so I'm not speaking out of turn)  Officially all I'm allowed to say is that it was "an overall positive experience" :-) :-) :-)

So it's back to normal, whatever that is.  No more working at home all weekend or arriving at work before 8am and leaving at 7pm.  Whoever said teachers work shorter hours than other people don't know enough good teachers!

And we've only got 2 weeks until the end of term.  HOORAY!!!

Oh, and I've got a job interview for a permanent post in my school.  Fingers crossed!

Sold!!!

Subject to the usual legal stuff I am thrilled to announce that we accepted an offer on the house this afternoon.  I finally get to move on with my new life.  Once all the costs are worked out and we divide the proceeds 50/50 I should have enough to buy a nice house in a nice area for me and the Teenager.

It's been a long process over 2 and a half years. At times it was very stressful and I thought I'd never make it.  But here I am, proof that there is life after divorce. And it's a pretty great life.  I have a wonderful family and great friends.  But best of all I have an amazing partner.

I am a very lucky girl to get a second chance at love and life.

On ice

 

I bought this bottle of champagne last month as it was half price.  I was hoping that within a short time I would have the occasion to open it with my beloved and celebrate.  I put it in a cupboard and waited.  And waited.

 

Last week I had a job interview.

 

Last weekend I viewed some houses and found one I want to buy.

 

Two days ago I was offered the position of supply teacher within the council area I am hoping to move to.  I put the bottle in the fridge.

 

Yesterday the lady who wants to buy my house came back for a 4th viewing with a builder.  She's saying and doing all the right things but as yet has not made a formal offer.  In Scots law once a formal offer has been made and accepted it is difficult to back out unlike English law. 

 

So for now the champagne is on ice.

 

Decisions, decisions

I have some very big decisions to make in the next few weeks.  It's all rather scary and I'm worried about the making the wrong choices and how that would impact on the Teenager.  Family and friends are both helpful and non helpful but ultimately the decisions have to be made by me.

I came across this piece of advice by Dr Barker of the OU.  It's been very useful in making me think about a few things.

Dr Barker's Decisions Making Tips

When we're not sure what to do, there's a tendency either to make a decision far too quickly or back off from the decision altogether.  Both should be avoided.

Instead, embrace the uncertainty.  It's not an easy thing to do but you should sit out your decision until you've gathered all the information and set out all the options.

Think about what you value and makes a good or meaningful life for you.  Tuning into this can help with the decision.  How will your choice fit your values in life?

Will your decision open up future options or limit them?  Imagine you've made your decision, do you feel lighter and freer or more constrained?


I get the feeling it's going to be a rather emotional weekend as I thrash out a few things with my loved ones.  But I'll get there.

Caramelised apple sponge

Thanks for all the apple suggestions :-)  In the end I peeled and cored them.

 

I put them in a pan with a squeeze of lemon juice, a splash of water and a large spoonful of dark brown sugar.  They simmered for about 10 mins until soft and caramelly (sorry non technical terms but you get the drift)

I put them in the bottom of a pudding basin, topped it with a sponge mixture and steamed it for an hour.

Turned out all right!

I had mine with some pouring soya yogurt. Twas very nice indeed.  It fed 2 of us 2 nights in a row.  A frugal gourmet pud made from some sad wrinkly apples and storecupboard ingredients.

That light at the end of the tunnel is beginning to be seen :-)  I have a very interested viewer who is saying and doing all the right things so hopefully I'll have some fab news to report very soon.

On the job front, I had an interview today to get onto the supply teaching list.  It went well so here's hoping I get some work when the new school year starts in August.

Still feel it's not quite happening yet but I have hope, more hope than I've had for a while so fingers crossed.

Tightening my belt

Round here there's a feeling that things are about to get worse before they get better.  When the house went back on the market last August all my plans to create revenue were based on building up several small streams of revenue using the house itself.  But with the prospect of moving at any point none of these came to fruition except The Tartan Tower and that doesn't generate much money.

Simply, my monthly outgoings exceed my income.  And until I move I can't increase that income for several reasons.  I have a monthly budget and can cope with the normal monthly expenditure but it's the unexpected things like car repairs and vet costs that have made me reach for the credit card.  This morning I was at the dentist and hygienist.  That cost £46. One filling needs replaced and I need root canal treatment on another (approx. £230) Tomorrow my car needs a service and an MOT to stay on the road. My one credit card is fast approaching its limit.

I keep telling myself once the house is sold and the money is released everything will be resolved but until then my already tightened belt will need to be squeezed even tighter.

I've already stopped giving myself pocket money and will probably need to stop the teenager's. I've cut back on food spending.  I don't buy clothes.  We don't eat out.  We don't go to the cinema. We're going wild camping for our summer holiday.

I'm sorting through my books and clothes to sell.  I've already sold my gold jewellery, CDs and DVDs.

I know there are many people out there in worse situations than us so I try not to complain.  I know there will be a light at the end of my tunnel eventually and that's what keeps me going.