Teacher burnout

I took the decision and informed my Headteacher yesterday that I wouldn't be back in school any time soon.  I do still have the cough/chest infection but said when I see my GP for a Fit Note (sick line) next week, I will be citing work related stress.  I'm still incredulous that it's taken 2 teachers at the same time to replace me in my classroom and that will count in my favour when it comes to talking to HR!!

I've had so many lovely messages from my colleagues all wishing me well and saying I'm doing the right thing.  They've seen me struggling for months and aren't in the least bit surprised.  I've said I'm not hiding away and will be spending my time (once this fecking cough has gone!!) in my garden and at the allotment.  And I'll take as long as it takes to feel properly well again.

The above quote is from a book called "The Teachers" by Alexandra Robbins.  It's about the American school system but the findings apply to teachers worldwide. Teacher burnout post pandemic is very real and it's not their fault.

Sold!

 

Finally at 16.53 yesterday (7 minutes before my lawyer's office closed) the flat sale finally went through and the money was transferred into my account.  I got back more or less the same amount of money I paid as the deposit so I'm happy with that.  But I have paid a few thousand in legal and estate agent fees.  I'm just relieved that part 1 of my 'grand plan' to retire is complete.  Now on to planning the next stages.

In other news I've not been well this week and took 3 days off work.  I definitely had/have some sort of virus as I've had a pounding headache with a high temperature and been alternating being freezing cold and boiling hot!!  I had a few days in bed and then stupidly went back to work on Thursday  When will I learn?? 🙄

Folk at work were happy that the teacher's pay claim in Scotland has been resolved.  It looks a good deal on paper, 13.5% but that's back dated to last April and spread out over 28 months.  It's not 13.5% all at once.  And in 2 years time teachers will be back to the same position of negotiating the next pay rise.  I'm glad I'll be out of it.

Thankfully this week I was able to just pull something quick and nutritious out the freezer as cooking when you're not well is off the agenda.  I took a photo of my tubs in the freezer as it was very satisfying to see them all 😊 Saved me time and money as no takeaways were required!

133 days

 

I counted.  It's 133 days until the 30th of June and my last day of teaching 🎉🎈🍾  The countdown has officially begun!! 

Meanwhile, yesterday and today I made 14 mugs of soup for the freezer for my work lunches.  Got to keep meal prepping to save money and eat healthily!  7 mugs of chicken and rice soup (using the last leek from my garden) and 7 mugs of carrot and lentil soup (using up the last of the veg lurking in the fridge!)

I also sliced up a £1.99 Lidl sourdough rye loaf and froze it too.  Soup and a chunky slice of crusty bread is an easy work lunch.  The bread isn't GF (or cheap) so I'll use it sparingly!

I've told my immediate family my plans but I haven't yet told my work besties.  I'll speak to them over the weekend before I go public next week.  They'll not say anything until I tell my Headteacher on Monday.

It's all a bit real now 😱

Decision made - eeeeek!

 

After the 2 staff development days and listening to our management team tell us what HMIE thought about us, I decided I've had enough.  When teaching and learning is being judged on data and not by what they saw (albeit very briefly) in our classrooms then it's time to go.

You know I've been crunching the numbers forever but I finally actually registered with the government gateway thingy and discovered that my state pension (that I get when I'm 67) will only be £6 a week less than if I continue to work 2 more years.  It's not worth it!!  I'm not ruling out working at something else in the next 10 years so I could top that up between now and then.  Together with my teeny tiny teacher pension I will have enough to live on when I'm 67.

For the next 10 years I could draw down equity from my house or I could sell my house, move into a smaller place and live on the equity.  Or I could win the lottery.  Or write a best seller.  Or marry a millionaire!!! 😂😂  Who knows!

But the decision has finally been made.  I will not be returning to teaching in August.  I'm done and I couldn't be happier 😊

Passed

 

It was a tough week but we got through it.  Now we wait 9 weeks (yep NINE!) to find out how we got on.  All we know is that they don't need to come back which means we passed.  So, yeay!! But it could be a bare minimum pass or a decent one.  Genuinely have no idea as all they said to us was things like "We commend you for doing XYZ really well" and "You will need to work on ABC." 🤷 That's on the management team and the education dept to work out.  I'm just going to get on with teaching my wee cookies as best I can!

I have 2 staff development days on Monday and Tuesday (ie no kids!) then 3 days of half term break.  My house is a tip and I need to get some DIY plans in place ASAP!! 🔨🧰

Impending doom!

 

There is a definite air of impending doom hanging over the school.  HMIE is due to arrive on Monday at 12 noon.  The Headteacher has kept the school open until 9pm each night for people to work.  And it will be open tomorrow (Sunday) too.  I genuinely have no idea what they're doing!!!  One of my closest work friends told me she'd worked 75 hours the previous week.  We only get paid for 35 hours!!! What on earth was she doing for those other 40 hours????  It's just crazy.

I popped into Waitrose on Tuesday night after dropping my son off at work.  It had been a very wet day and was still raining heavily at 6pm.  Always good conditions for yellow stickers!  I picked up salmon fillets, cooked sausages, GF rolls, chorizo, samosas, coleslaw and rice cakes.  Everything was at least half price or less!  I seriously considered buying a huge catering size haggis than was half price and well within date.  I would have portioned it up and frozen it. They had loads of them so I might pop back in to see if they have any left.  I also bought some daffodils on impulse.  They've opened out after a few days and are just a welcome splash of colour in these dreich days! 

I also popped in to Lidl on my way home on Thursday as I needed to buy popcorn for school (don't ask! 😂)  They had some fab reductions for just 70p!!  Think I timed it well 😊

I just have this week to 'survive' plus 2 staff development days then it's half term.  I suspect it will include a lot of sleeping!! 😴

Filling the freezer

 

It's been a hectic week at work as expected.  I'm in before 8am, home after 5pm and I'm working on stuff in the evenings too.  My choice, as I just want to make a good impression when the inspectors come.  But I'm tired, grumpy and predictably am fighting off a virus/bug!!!  So the focus is on decent but quick to make food.

I rescued these ready meals from the bin (literally) in school as they were past the use by date by a few days.  They are now in my defrosted and cleaned out chest freezer.  We had them for kids to taste Scottish food on Burns' night.  Sadly there was no Irn Bru, shortbread or oatcakes left to bring home although I did rescue a wee bit of Scottish cheddar for my son!

I made a load of nut and lentil burgers from a 'when it's gone it's gone' mix I got ages ago in Lidl.  They were rather tasty!  Now also in the freezer.

I cooked a 2kg joint of brisket in the Crockpot, cost £10.61 from Lidl.  I just shook some Tamari and Worcester sauce over it and cooked it for 5 hours.  Must confess it didn't yield as much meat as I'd hoped as there was a huge piece of fat/gristle in the middle.  But I got 8 generous portions for the freezer.

And we were on strike again one day this week! I'm in the blue hat 😊

When my life is busy I always prep food as it makes me feel organised in at least one area of my life!!  School is still challenging but if I can make it to half term I've achieved more than I thought I was going to when I when I went back in January!

Finally

It's finally finished!! I love it and can't wait to get it deep cleaned over the weekend.  Then comes the good bit deciding what colour to paint the walls and choose the flooring.  Should I match with the kitchen or go completely different?

We heard yesterday at 12pm precisely that we're getting our "special visitors" in 2 weeks.  Yep, His Majesty's Inspectors of Education are finally descending on us after waiting several years.  When I got the job in my school 7 years ago  I was told their visit was imminent.  So for the next 2 weeks in school  it's all go making sure our paperwork is flawless, our displays are immaculate and our kids are well briefed on behaviour.  I think only 1 out of these 3 is humanly possible in my classroom!!

Strike 2!

 

I'm on strike again today.  I've just stood for 2 hours on a very wet picket line waving placards at the handful of cars that pass our school.  I don't like striking but it's a necessary tool in the current economic climate we find ourselves in.  

We had a visit from someone at HQ so we got a chance to ask him some pertinent questions. According to COSLA and the Scottish government there's no money for public sector pay rises.  I totally get that. But we didn't get our annual pay rise last year (that's why we're striking!) so now 2 years later thanks to inflation we've effectively had our salaries cut.  As have many other professions.  Even a 10% increase won't match inflation now.

So I'm doing no work today.  Once I've warmed up I'll be watching Elementary and knitting more of my cardigan!!

Strike!

I'm on strike today.  I never ever thought it would come to it.  But here I am this morning on the picket line outside our school.  I've just read on the EIS website that the last offer COSLA and the Scottish Government offer made amounted to an average of 71p extra a week.  Yes, 71 PENCE!!!

People think teachers are well paid and compared to some professions like nursing we are.  All teachers are graduates and we worked hard for our degrees. Many still have the student debt to show for it.  But the cost of living hits everyone.  We have several single mums on our staff who are frankly struggling but they came out on strike today to send a message.

In recent weeks I've paid £160 to a plumber and £144 to an electrician, each spending less than an hour on their job.  I do not begrudge them at all for charging a fair rate for their expertise and time.  Today I lost £106, a day's pay for striking.  Public sector workers cannot charge more for our services and expertise.  Even a 10% pay increase is still below inflation and would effectively be a pay cut.  Everyone deserves fair pay.

**gets off soapbox now**  Normal frugal tips will resume soon!

It's a sign

 

It's been one of the most challenging weeks of my 35 years teaching career.  I don't know if the 2 weeks holidays plus Halloween plus me being out of class to do training things plus having a student has sent my kids craaaaaazy!!!!  I've almost been in tears twice and I NEVER cry.  I've had crying parents who can't cope with their kids at home and had 2 hysterical colleagues in my classroom.  And it's not even a full moon! 🌕

I came home tonight in a foul mood and opened up my emails to find an invite to apply for celebrant training with the Humanist Society.  I checked back through my emails and I originally enquired in March 2020.  I never heard back so thought it wasn't meant to be.

I'm taking it as a sign that it's something I would be able to do if I retired! So of course, I'm applying! 

May Spending

 

And just like that it's the end of the month again.  I'm pleased to report that my spending was more controlled this month and I've stuck to my budget!  I did buy a few out of the ordinary things like more compost bins for the allotment (made from recycled plastic.)  I now have enough bins/space to properly turn the compost heap and hopefully get better quality compost!

I did end up going to the supermarket mainly to get fresh fruit and veg but it was still a low spend month.  Plus we got a bit of a pay raise last month.  After tax etc I got an extra £101 in my salary.  It wasn't budgeted for in the yearly plan I did in January so it was a nice bonus. It means I've added a decent amount to my savings account this month.

Savings account total: £5121.97

I think I'm still on track to save £10k this year, even taking into account all the stuff I need to do to the house.  Phew!!

I finally found out who my new stage partner will be for the next session.  I'm staying in P1 (4 and 5yos) and my partner in the other P1 class will be a young teacher with 2 years teaching experience.  She's lovely and said she hopes to learn from me.  I said I'd learn just as much from her!!  I think it's a big mistake to think you know it all even with 34(!) years experience 😱

I was doing a wee stocktake of toys and resources in my classroom and found this wee doll with terribly matted hair.  I brought her home and spent some time detangling her hair.  She looks brand new again!  Kids will love her and we've saved money by not needing to buy a new one.  She needs some new clothes but I'm sure I can run up some wee dresses or something over the holidays 👗

Returning to 'normal'

 

The weather has been lovely this week.  I've been able to get out into the garden and gently potter.  Today I was brave and went to my plot.  And I was so happy I did.  I just had a good look at everything and sat in the sun, taking it all in.  It always brings me instant calm.

I went into school yesterday to meet with my Headteacher and discuss my phased return (well I drew up a timetable and gave her it!)  I went to visit my class and I was overwhelmed with the response.  My wee kiddos have missed me 😍 And my colleagues said they'd missed me too!  I was really tired afterwards.

I go back on Monday.  I'm working 3 mornings and an afternoon.  Then it's the 2 week Easter break.  I think that should be doable.  It feels like the beginning of things returning to normal, whatever normal is these days.

Tired!

 

One week back at school and I'm tired.  Not just a lack of sleep type tired, deep down body and soul tired.  Pretty sure it's the same for a lot of professions right now.  I daydream A LOT about retiring and how I could afford it 😂  But it's that dream that's keeping me motivated and stopping me from going to Lidl on my way home from work to buy tortilla chips and guacamole!! 😂😂  Funny how you (ok me!) obsess about something when you're trying to be 'good.'  It's a WANT not a NEED!!! 

I'm sticking to the eating from the pantry challenge.  Some meals are a bit basic if I'm tired (GF pasta with a bit of grated goat's cheese) but I did enjoy some Punjabi spiced cauliflower last week with the lentil curry.

I got 4 meals worth from those 2 cauliflowers I scored in M&S for 40p each.  It's a Madhur Jaffrey recipe, very tasty and reheats nicely too.  Find it HERE.

Emma is doing well.  You can see her wee shaved patch on her tummy.  The lump is just fatty tissue so thank goodness for that.  We're due back at the vet on Friday after school for a post op check up and to chat about my 'options.'  I really don't want to put her though another op as she's 10 and older dogs don't recover as well from repeated general anaesthetic.  Plus there's the cost too.  My friend has a 12yo cat that keeps getting warts that turn cancerous.  So far she keeps getting them removed but we've been chatting about when is it ok to stop doing that?  Never an easy decision for pet owners though.

Hectic!

 

As expected going back to school on Monday has consumed my whole week which can only be described as hectic!! My classroom was ready for the kids on Wednesday only because I hid boxes of unsorted resources under my desk!  I'll get to them soon.

I have 19 wee 4 and 5yos in my care who are keeping me on my toes, literally.  My feet (and ankle especially) ache at the end of the day.  I've slept soundly through the night every night this week!  It's a steep learning curve for me being back in Primary 1.

I did make myself go to the plot one night to water the polytunnel and found 1 red tomato!  I have masses of green tomatoes so fingers crossed we have some heat to turn them red too.  And to be honest that tomato (Moneymaker) tasted rather ordinary.  Hey ho!

Rain!

 

This Summer has been a mix of extreme heat and extreme rain!  We've had yellow and amber flood warnings a few times.  This afternoon was especially wet!!

So when I can't get outside to potter I stay inside and potter in the kitchen.

I played around with an old family favourite dish we call Irene's Chicken Dish.  I think it's actually called Chicken Royale, maybe someone will know.  I believe it's a recipe that was on the side of a can of Campbell's condensed soup.  Cooked chicken mixed with the soup, mayonnaise, curry powder and broccoli.  Then topped with breadcrumbs and cheese.  I swapped the chicken for halloumi and made it vegetarian by using celery soup.  I didn't have any GF breadcrumbs so used some of my rice crispies from my AF haul a few weeks ago.  It was delicious! 

I also made waffles and pancakes to put in the freezer.  I had to test some first of course! 😋

Blueberries from the garden! 

I popped into school earlier this week just to see what my new room was like as I was getting a new Smart Board installed.  I wish I hadn't.  They'd knocked down a wall and cupboard and replastered the wall (we didn't know they'd do that!)  They didn't move or cover any of the furniture or resources (or tell us we'd need to!!)  Everything was covered in dust and rubble.  

Since I'm back in P1 (Kindergarten/Reception) it's all play based learning so every single toy, game, resource and piece of furniture was like this 😖 It took me and my Headteacher (bless her) 2 full days to clean and wash everything (our brilliant cleaning staff aren't allowed to clean resources). We had to put loads of things through the dishwasher or dunk them in buckets of soapy hot water to get them clean.  We've still to shampoo the rugs but it looks like this now.

Now the cleaners can come in and finish it off ready for me to set up next week.  I can't believe I've only got 1 week left!  I officially start back on the 16th and the kids are back on the 18th.  It feels like it's been a quick summer holiday this year!

Even my tired is tired

 

I know it's been over a month since I blogged.  And it's not for the lack of 'stuff' to blog about.  I'm just so tired all the time that I don't want to whinge or moan.

Work pretty much sucks all my time and energy.  My wee people deserve the best from me and my profession is one of the few that has job security so I'm not going complain about that.  We are living in very unusual times and I'm giving myself (and you) permission to deal with it however it needs to be done.

Lots of 'stuff' has been going on last month.  My youngest son (the newly qualified radiographer) has returned home to live after splitting with his girlfriend.  He's living in the extended part of the house that I'd intended to become the Air BnB.  We're treating it like a test run so I can see how/if it would work.  We're sharing the kitchen but other than that it can be pretty self contained.  No idea yet how long he'll stay but he's saving up for a deposit on a flat/house in Glasgow.

I mentioned during the summer that my uncle died suddenly and that I was the one sorting out his affairs.  I didn't say at the time that it was a huge legal mess plus he was a hoarder.  And I mean like one of those hoarder's houses you see on tv!!  It's taken all this time to track down some long lost family (we had to use a tracing agent!) and I am now legally allowed to start clearing out his house.  I also know a lot more about our Scottish laws of succession and how NOT to write a will!  On the plus side, I'm now back in contact with one of my cousins who I've not seen since I was 4!!

My allotment is plodding along nicely.  It's still my favourite place to go and just chill.  I've put in some Winter and Spring veg and it's gradually getting tidied up.  I'm on half term holiday very soon for 2 weeks so hope to get my polytunnel cleared and secured for the bad weather.  

I have 4 more teaching days  (and 1 non contact day) then I'm on holiday.  I cannot wait! 

Plot update

I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since my post! I've really not been doing anything that blogworthy plus it was report writing time for school (they're all finished and signed off now).

There's a general consensus among my friends that we seem to be living a groundhog day every day.  We've got ourselves stuck in a rut/routine and the lines between work and home are very blurred.  I've seen some of my colleagues interacting with parents on Twitter on a Saturday evening!! It's not healthy.

Thankfully the weather has been lovely (mostly) so spending time in my garden and on the allotment helps me switch off from work stuff.  Today's video shows the start of everything on the plot bursting into life.  I watched the first video of my new plot and was surprised to see just how much I've changed it already.  I love that people watch them but really they're for me to keep a wee record of my progress.  And a reminder of what I can achieve on my own 😊

And so it begins...

It's been a very strange time in school this week.  Everyone else in the country was told to stay home, work from home, don't get close to other people.  ALL council staff were told to clear their desks and work from home.  Libraries, community centres and even public toilets were closed as the risk to staff was too high.  And yet we were told it's ok for schools to be open.  Children just carry it, they can't get sick from The Virus.  But teachers could.  Support staff could.  Parents could.

Then teachers were declared front line employees, the same category as doctors and nurses.  But doctors and nurses are given protective equipment.  We were providing our own soap for children to wash their hands.  Many parents kept their children home. But just as many sent them to school as normal.  And we tried so hard to keep it normal for them.

Today after many many difficult negotiations between government, councils and unions, schools were finally closed to children AND teachers. Although some school 'hubs' will be open for front line staff's children.

Starting from Monday I'll be working from home.  We've set up Home Learning online through many websites we use in school and good old Twitter!  Sadly many of our parents don't have devices at home to access these so we made up home learning packs too.  All teachers I know have brought home loads of admin, materials to create new resources as well as literature for professional development.

Today I said goodbye to my wee class of 7 year olds not knowing when I'll see them again and told them they were part of history.  As we all are.

And so it begins...

What a week!!

So this week we've had truly horrendous weather thanks to outgoing Storm Ciara and incoming Storm Dennis. I've had yet another nasty chesty cough virus. And to finish the week off, my school has had a Norovirus outbreak.  And it started in my classroom!!  By the end of the day yesterday I only had 7 children left 😷

Thankfully it's now half term for the kids so next week the whole school is getting a deep clean.  I have 2 staff development days on Monday and Tuesday then I'm on holiday for the rest of the week.  So far none of the staff have caught it.  We have been meticulous in washing our hands!!!  Hopefully by the time we go back it will have died off.

Never a dull moment!